#34: 🚀 Parenting with no limits 🚀
Sep 23, 2024You are a parent, or will soon be one. Read this.
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Kate Z.
Thank you for that amazing message. I remember our conversation last weekend about parenting and living fully. This newsletter is with you in mind, and for all of us parents. Like we talked about, kids don't limit life, they are justification to live it more, unapologetically.
It's on us to shift mindset.
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What I hear from most parents about designed living with kids:
I can't travel because I have kids...
I can't design my life because I have kids...
I can't start that passion business because I have kids...
I can't go to or live in that other city or country because...
Well... then you won't.
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner thoughts. If you say you can't, you won't! You've already set yourself up for failure. Kids are not a barrier to Trying Life On. Your lack of imagination and planning is. Life circumstances are just an opportunity to overcome blockers and find solutions. Then it's just a matter of executing via inspired action.
Trying Life On With Kids Requires Intention.
I have two kids. My oldest is 24 living on his own now. We travel and have experiences together, regularly. Adult kids are pretty easy.
Dynamics around raising younger kids are obviously tougher. I co-parent my 11-year old with firm belief in immersing in culture and experiences across our city, country and around the world. He's been to 13 countries so far including Italy, Belize, Cyprus and Lebanon. Not as tourist, but truly being intentional to immerse locally by doing things like taking rural trains and talking to people along the way.
Right now we are game planning trains and planes to see his two favorite NFL (National Football League) players in October, strategically leveraging a teacher's day when school is closed. That gives us a 4-day window to explore a new city and let him dream about becoming an NFL player. Dreaming is important.
Parenting is a Mindset
Many parents are paralyzed by opinions of others on how they raise their kids. This is the problem. You give opinions of peers, coworkers, neighbors and family more weight than the actual experiences you want for them to develop and live.
And in many cases, you do the same with the school, adhering to every single rule they have about attendance or curriculum limiting your ability to act to broaden their lives. Schooling systems are not life, they are ONE enabler of it. We should treat it as such.
We just experienced 2 years of virtual schooling via COVID. So when I want to pull my son from school, I tell administrators to give us the work and we will do it on the road. If I get pushback, I remind them about the last two years. If I still get pushback, I come up with solutions for them to support. I am not asking permission, I'm asking for support only in the confines of requirements.
In other words, respect school but work around it when necessary.
Alternatives To Be Aware Of
Both of my kids attended standard schools. I worked the systems to effect designed lives. But with location-indepedent lifestyles becoming so popular in the wake of COVID-19, the trend of remote living and people seeking more life is real.
MBO Partners 2023 State of Independence research study is a great read (download). It found that 17.3 million Americans describe themselves as virtual workers, growing 133% from pre-pandemic years 2019-2023. I see this trend across the world in my travels. I also see this desire in 95% of my coaching students too. Many want to get mobile and live differently. But a major factor is kids schooling, rightfully so.
Don't Let it Be a Blocker.
Education models are evolving. There's many non-traditional options. Linked for more information.
- Worldschooling - an educational movement that recognizes students can receive no greater education than experiencing and interacting with the world around them.
- Roadschooling - a combination of curriculum with learning through travel experiences.
- Homeschooling - parent-directed education from the comfort of your own home.
- Virtual Schooling - online school entirely or primarily online or through the Internet.
- Unschooling - home education where student's interests drive the path of learning.
- International Schooling – traditional education in serving the international community.
Lots of other issues to take into consideration like social interaction, sports, personal development, mental health, etc... Can't take these lightly but, for now, let's focus on the modes themselves.
I'm not endorsing any version of learning. I'm embracing the concept of coming up with ideas to knock down blockers to desired lifestyles. Here are three examples of Try Life On Coaching students with kids and what they are doing to live more now, versus waiting until later.
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Some real world examples.
Melissa and her husband moved to Costa Rica several years ago from New England. The kids are high school age, enrolled in virtual school, but also leverage the local school for social and sports activities. And because they are together a lot as family, they travel a ton to other countries leveraging the virtual school platform.
Roger and his wife are 'practicing' life in Jamaica, arriving from Texas. Their kids are pre-school age, so they are scoping international school options should they decide to remain. Roger virtualized his accounting business during coaching, so his family has maximum flexibility to be anywhere.
Joshua is a single dad who road trips national parks with his son in the United States. He redesigned his life, leaving his office job in favor of a virtual support role requiring a laptop and phone. He presented a solution for the school system of his 8-year old to support - he defined a plan where he would teach his son the 3-week school provided curriculum and report back the school to meet state requirements.
Leave Excuses Behind.
To Try Life On more, replace 'If Only' with 'What if' (a Try Life On principle). Negotiate your reality. I've been doing it for decades.
Hopefully this give parents some ideas.
Maurice