#41: Let Go of Old Narratives

Whatever you give energy and attention to will dominate your existence. So stop giving energy to your old story in favor of movement and momentum towards the new. Let me explain.

Give energy to your new story

We all carry stories about who we are. Stories that shape how we see ourselves and how the world sees us. But what if those stories no longer serve you? What if the old stories hold you back instead of move you forward?

You want to redesign life. You're an executive working in a cube on the 7th floor of an office building but want to open a small coffee shop, the kind that becomes a community hotspot where friends come to connect. Why are you still introducing yourself as an executive rather than aspiring business owner? Instead of the work conference to 'look good' why aren't you at the small business seminar learning ins and outs? Why is dinner table gossip with your spouse constantly about things you don't like at work rather than ideas for coffee branding? Why is night time pillow talk filled with reasons it's impossible to be a coffee shop owner because you "already have a good career"? All the energy is about the old version of you versus where you are headed. So that is exactly where you will stay, as the old you.

Too many of us unknowingly give energy to the old stories we've told ourselves -- narratives that no longer reflect who we are or where we want to go.

Outdated scripts trap you. They keep you tethered to the past.

My Mediterranean Hack

The first step in the Try Life On life design process is drafting your perfect day (see newsletter 36). When you do, you're not just creating a list of wishes, you're actively engaging imagination and emotions about what you want. You are giving energy to a new you. That process involves visualizing details of your ideal scenario, from the moment you wake up, to your activities throughout the day, to the relationships you want to have.

In my own version, work and personal life revolve around the Mediterranean Sea. As well, I always espouse this notion mentally and with people I trust -- never talked about it in public to avoid naysayers. While I was still a police officer, executive at Accenture, and in the military, my conversations, research and actions were dominated by the idea I was going to live and work in the Mediterranean. Giving energy to this new identity and the word "Mediterranean" put me in the receptive mode. Over the years it led to meeting people from Turkey, Cyprus, Greece and Lebanon -- and going to those places a lot. It led to opportunity as anytime I heard or read something about business in the region, it got my attention.

In 2020 I met my now business partner and friend in Cyprus and started learning about real estate on the island. The 'work' part of my identity was starting to fill in. The old identities of being a military officer, police officer and corporate executive were starting to fade away, along with all my excuses why I shouldn't leave them. I left those careers in Oct 2019, Sep 2021 and Oct 2021, respectively. They no longer served me, my family or my goals.

Fast forward almost 5 years. Two weeks ago visited one of our development sites in Cyprus and reviewed final designs for villas. To say I'm proud is an understatement. To say I'm surprised would be a lie because energy in the form of time, money, praying, flights, finding lawyers, etc..., was always happening.

Generate momentum for the new you

Practical ways to free yourself from old narratives in favor of new:

1.  Identify the Story: Take time to reflect on the recurring thoughts or beliefs that hold you back. Write them down so you can clearly see the old narrative.

2. Challenge Its Truth: Ask yourself, “Is this story true?” Most often, you’ll find it’s based on fear, past failures, or someone else’s expectations rather than reality.

3. Rewrite the Script: Craft a new, empowering story that aligns with the person you’re becoming. Use positive, future-focused language to describe your new identity.

4. Create Affirmations: Repeat affirmations that reinforce your new narrative. For example, “I am confident and capable of achieving my goals.”

5. Learn to Detach: There is power and fulfillment in detaching from past identities, relationships and narrative (see newsletter 31).

6. Take Action: Actions speak louder than words. Start living as if your new story is already true. Make choices that reflect your desired identity.

7. Surround Yourself with Support: Surround yourself with people who accept and push you in your new narrative. That encouragement helps the narrative stick.

Letting go of your old story takes time and intention. It's not easy but very doable. Your redesigned version of life depends on it, so why not get going now. I'm certainly glad that I did years ago.

Give energy to your new story and let the old one fade away.

Maurice